Wednesday, June 15, 2016

I love popcorn.


Popcorn is my comfort food.  
Maybe by the time I finish with my thoughts 
we will discover why that is so important.
I was born in 1958, and before you expect to think I may say, it was a more simple time in those days?... No way.  Not in my neck of the woods.  Dad was a big wig in his job, Mom was for the most part a homemaker, throw in a few waitress jobs here and there. But she was dressed in a dress and makeup was on when Dad got home.  We ate together , all 6 of us.  I was #3 in the pecking order.  I now know why its called that.  I had a pretty good child hood.  We camped , fished, played card games, hide and seek,  Girl scouts, Laura Rawson was my best friend.   We played jacks everyday.
I guess the only real damper when looking back, was Mom and Dad
drank.  We were such busy, kids, that it wasn't a problem til it was a problem.  They smoked like chimneys too.  Geez, like kept the windows up  in the car with 4 kids in the back.  If my lil sister coughed, then the windows would go down.  lol.
          I was the sensitive one and did not want to make waves, cause a ruckus.   But I did not follow the rules either.  I drank too.  Stole everything that was not nailed down..   I hate stealing today.  I would walk back to a store and pay for the gum my baby in a stroller took and I noticed when we got home.  I believe I stole out of not wanting to put pressure on my Dad for how stressed I knew he was.  It was hard work keeping up with the Jones'.  We were middle class folk but Dad wanted you to believe we were better off.   wink.      So once I found out that I could take, and walk?  all good.  Til that day security tapped me on the shoulder at the mall.  Crap!  Judge, counseling...... geez.  Done stealing.
          The rents were really drinking more and more.  I paid close attention to how normal it was.  So as I started having adult issues, I knew how to cope.
          I married young.  19.  First child came in that first year of marriage.  The best day of my life, was that lil man.  Life was good.  He was a good baby,  he too was like his Mom,  did not want to cause stress for his Dad, so he strove to be the best of Everything.  Very bright and talented.  Sensitive... Almost 4 years later, I had twin boys.  2nd greatest day in my life.  They were good babies and healthy.  I felt sorry for my friends with one child, and they kept their parents running.  I would say I was lucky, but I had a great group of friends that had bunches of kids before me and gave me great advice.  The whole village thing is true.  How these friends came about is what  I am leading up to.
I loved God from the age of always.  I can remember being crushed when my brother said he did not believe in God... He was about 8.  So I was 7.  I ached for days over that one.  That turned out to not be true.  He's a pastor today.
Right after my eldest turned one yrs old, I had a deep stirring in me that would not quit.  When my husband at the time, (we will call him Anton) brought a friend he worked with, he said I would love  his wife and we should meet.  Shortly after we did and she talked a lot about God... Man, it sounded familiar, warm and fuzzy.  I knew this was a real happening, her and I getting together... Soon she took me to a Bible Study, ( like no other, ), I can say it was bitter and oh so sweet.  I learned so much about scripture, and relationship with God the Father, Son, and Holy Ghost.  There was no talk about the Holy Spirit.  lol.... I started losing myself and all I thought I had figure out in my 24 years.  This group was a cult, but I did not know.  Folks were pointing things out to me, but I was terrified of losing the closeness to God.  Even through this group.  I almost lost my marriage over all of it.  Very strange things they taught us.  I believe every word in the Bible, but their interpretation in many cases were so literal to the point of Husbands should never see their wives naked.  That folks was only a small taste of what was being taught... But, it must of been written or they would not of taught it... They were legalistic to the point of the Lord was the biggest meanie there ever was.  This went on for a decade of our lives........
My poor children.  They thrived through all of it.  Bright kids, happy kids.  Their Dad and I divorced   years later.  When I found that I was bored to tears after the boys got to an age they quit coming right home from school, for their cut up orange slices, or their homemade cookies.  I felt lost.  I did my job of wiping butts, teaching manners, raising wonderful, lovely men.  I needed to to something that I enjoyed... but what? I never had a job for long, as I stayed home to raise a husband and 3 kids...  Anton liked the fact that more money would come in but told me He was nervous that if I got out into the world,  I would see what a shmo (his word) he was and leave him.  And he was right.  When I graduated from Beauty college, I found work in one of the best salons in our city.  By now I'm  37 and bought a home on my own 3 years later.   I'm really starting to party and recognize I have a drinking problem.  But I'm functioning, so pfff, no problem.
Met my current husband, and what turned my head was the fact, he is really smart, talented, and thought I could do no wrong.  I fixed that.  He wasn't much of a drinker, but he put up with me, cause he said I was cute when tipsy, awful when  drunk.  He's right.  It almost took my life.  My behavior got worse and I became dangerous.  To all who knew me and loved me, it was a very difficult time.
Thank God I did not lose my husband Norm.  He put up with so much and he's stronger now than ever, but I don't wish that on anyone.  He deserved better...  He struggled with me to the point he left me and was moving to a different state.  Oh man, that broke my heart.  I loved him so much, but I loved to drink.  I hate that I got drunk so often, but it comes with the addiction.  I had to make a difficult decision.  I did stop drinking.  Turned back to God, and never looked back, accept to say , YAY...!!!  We moved together.  To a very big city.  Las Vegas.  Much bigger than our home in Northern Calif.
I have 5 amazing Grandchildren and they are awesome.  They all live hundreds of miles from me, so it's very difficult to not be around them, watching them grow up.  Sometimes it hurts to the point of extreme pain.  My sons are the best Fathers one could want, or deserve.  I love my daughters in law.  Great moms.  I don't expect that any of them  will have addiction issues.
I suspect I will live out my years in Las Vegas, but I know anything can happen...  Life has taught me many lessons.  One is this world is desperate for love.  Many have no clue of what their neighbor needs, nor help if they knew.  I don't try to find myself anymore.  I work at creating a new self, cause if the old self was that wonderful?  it would not of been lost.   Have the best day, love the one your with, and look for others that you can share love with.   We live in this world and leave a footprint.  What does yours say about you?



Friday, June 3, 2016

Reap what you sew....

Amazing what a spool of thread can Create

Hello, 

Thank you for visiting my blog.
Let me begin and say, I don't consider myself a writer.  Story teller yes, but not a writer.
Never thought I would blog either.
I'm not much of a reader accept for  the Holy Bible.  Sew to write something for others to read sounded ridiculous.
Have you figured out how I came up with the name"Reap what you Sew?"......
A few years back I had a drinking problem.
My life was not working.  So when I did begin to deal with it, I decided I needed something in the evenings to do.  I bought a small sewing machine, and it sat on the table for 2 days til I got up the nerve to open the box.  I did not know how to use or thread the machine.  I felt broken already, sew I did not need another reminder that I was in ruins and did not know how to do life.  But I found courage to watch Youtube videos on how to make simple bags, (totes) and decided it was time to thread the machine.  It was an amazing thing to make something I could actually use !!!.  Holy Smokes it was fun and much time went by when I wasnt thinking about drinking or feeling sorry for myself.  Yay.  It did not take long and I was making a product that I could sell.  I even started a company called Vicki Lee Bags/ by Lynne.  I will share another day how that lovely name came about.  You may need to remind me though. :).

Sew..... now here we are and I want to show you and your friends how to make some stuff.  Really nice stuff, that you can give as gifts or sell or even to keep for yourself.  Reap what you sew !!!

Business Card Holders
These are really quite functional and make very nice gifts.  Vicki Lee Bags is my companies name and we make plenty of these.  Usually we put them  in the bags we make when we have extra fabric to treat our clients for their purchase.  Nice huh?  we think sew.....



           Lets get started !

You will need some cotton fabric.

Interfacing,(optional) I use light to medium weight.

Thread:
Scissors:
cutting mat:
ruler
rotary cutter: (optional)

First, you will need (2) pieces of fabric that measure 6" x 4.5"


And (2) that are 5" x 4.5"

Can you believe it?  That's it for the supplies !!!

Now lets assemble this 




Step one:  Optional.  Using manufactures instructions apply the interfacing.  I used fusible.  







               





 Step two:  fold the 5" pieces in half,  as seen to the right.  If done correctly you will now have (2) 4.5'"x 2.5" pieces.  Stitch along the fold to create durability.  I got fancy and used my decorative stitch.  Cause I can..... 



Step 3: Place the 2 sewn pieces onto
one of the 6" pieces, as shown.
Pin in place, now take to your machine, and with a 1/4"
seam, sew along the top, and same at the bottom.
See below.






















Are we there yet?   


                                                   




                                        Step 4:  Place the remaining 6'' piece                                     rights sides together onto your                                                    masterpiece.  Pin and sew a 1/4 " seam on 3 sides, leaving the bottom open.
                                                               

                                                                                                                               Step 5: trim away excess,

Step 6: Carefully turn inside out.  This is where you think I made a mistake, cause the bottom is open.  Rest assured, you and I will figure this out.  Yikes !!!!!   lol just kidding.  But now we turn BOTH lil pockets inside out again.  Yes, both of them. Just the pockets, not  where the opening at the bottom is..... 


Now give it a good press.  Close it and Press it again. !!!



                                  Admire your beautiful works....  Thanks for joining me in our first "Reap what you sew " project.  Til next time , please leave a comment. and look for us on Youtube.  Vicki Lee Bags by Lynne and   God Bless